We had eighth period English class together in our freshman year.
Do you remember me? I'm guessing not.
Somehow I spent about ninety percent of the school year being unaware of your existence.
I may have glanced in your direction a few times, but it was only starting in April that my gaze lingered.
You caught my eye one day.
Then for a month you were my life, even though I never spoke to you.
We were partly finished reading To Kill A Mockingbird in class when it started.
I wrote most of my poems in school when I was insprired by my school crush or when I didn't want to do work.
I was following you with my eyes in the lunch line one day and somehow started a conversation with my friend.
It was me, my friend, and another friend I was less close with.
Your name came up and my friend and I were giggling like the schoolgirls we were.
Our other friend made a face.
"You know he likes me, right?" She said, like it was obvious.
How would I have known that? I was crushed.
I guess I don't even know for sure that it was true, but I would believe it.
Even I had a crush on her when she first got here.
impossible
(april 1)
a girl is at her worst until she sees him standing there
he's staring at his phone, she wonders if she should even dare
she moves over so she can see him better, till someone blocks her view
that's always how it seems to be, yet she's struggling to choose
she finally notices the details, and it suddenly all feels right
his hair falls perfectly and looks golden in the light
she smiles to herself, now knowing what she wants
and thinks back to the time he smiled as well, ignoring all the taunts
deep down she knows he's impossible to have, so she swallows the thought of it
yet she still finds herself helpless, as she desperately falls for him
never
(april 7)
run your hand through my hair as you whisper to me
your voice making my heart skip a couple beats
there’s no one else i want, and nothing else that matters
but i know in the end it’d be my heart that shatters
english
(april 7)
romeo and juliet, second month reading
open the door for me, i’ve been waiting
becoming known, difficult as ever
everybody wishes they were her
reaching for his hand, but he doesn’t reach back
tuesday in february, sleeping like an insomniac
looking
(april 7)
lips, full as the moon
noticing your hair looks new
freckles drown his face
:(
(april 8)
how can i use words to explain the way i feel
she doesn’t even have to try, she effortlessly steals
her beauty bounces off the walls and into your mind
but somehow she never notices how you stare when she walks by
your heartbeat starts to speed up when she locks eyes with you
i really shouldn’t be feeling this, but i can’t help but want to
i watch her walk, as your eyes follow, body flows with grace
when the words left her mouth, i sadly realized my place
mockingbird
(april 5 + 9)
leaning forward, blocking out noises
i want to hear everything you say
i see the corners of your lips curl into a grin
it’s too bad our time here is slowly being thinned
book lies before you, same with me
mocks of the bird, outs that i love thee
it doesn’t know any better
yet i still find myself angry
just give me one reason to leave and i will
though from a distance, always, i’d love you still
you you you
(april 9)
everything about you is flawless
how could i be wrong?
they’ve never disagreed more
but just look at all these songs
they show me that those chocolate eyes
i could look up at and melt away
your hair, i don’t even know what color
but i love it anyway
lips, full as the shining moon
darkness doesn’t stay
the light in you is blinding
it’s right there in front of their face
enough
(april 12)
i just want to know you
is that so wrong?
but even the songbirds
don't care to hear my song
they've heard the story
too many times before
"i bet she got tired of sitting around,
the waiting was a bore"
but they shake their heads
"she's very much in love"
then my heart starts pounding
i've had enough
again
(april 23)
why do i miss that feeling?
i know i shouldn't, but i do
why have i been counting down the days
until i get to see you?
because i told her it was over
she was happy for me, you see?
so if i tell her that i made a mistake
i guarantee she'll hate me
when i look like her
(may 9)
i saw you looking at me
i looked back and you didn’t look away
are my dreams coming true?
do you finally notice me?
maybe someday when i look like her