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14 years
(UY8.28.19)

call my phone when you're crying
let me know if you feel like dying
tell me things they don't know
i pinky promise i'll never let those secrets go

spill out all your midnight thoughts
rest your head on my shoulder
oh, what a gift it is to call you my best friend

capture all our memories
sing me to sleep with your melody
vent your heart out to me
i pinky promise i'll never let those secrets free

i know it's hard being you but if you
just don't give in when they throw words at you
'cause they don't know what a gift it is
to call you my best friend

to love you
(2.2.20)

leave me alone
don't think i'm done
falling for the people who want nothing to do with me
i can't take it
don't make me wait
i'm done thinking there's hope for me
in this world where there's no guarantees

i'm afraid to love you
it's vague when you say no, don't go

lost in your eyes as you opened mine
to a feeling i didn't know i had
when i talk to you i don't feel sad

but i'm afraid to love you
if we wait, i might lose
and i'll have to start all over

i'm afraid to know you
what happened to people who fell for you?
why'd they stop?

still
(12.5.19)

i take it you don't feel the same way anymore
i don't wanna keep playing your games
if you'll never fully open the door
i don't recognize
your face doesn't come alive when i'm around
i guess i'm done for you
i've done what i can do
the grave should just start building itself

oh, won't you tell me if you love me still, won't you?
won't you?
why won't you tell me if you love me still?

i take it you don't care
but you'll bear another second of my misery
do i know how this works?
do i know if i just have to wait?
i shouldn't have to wait - right?
lovely heart in your arms
you're not careful, you might drop

won't you tell me if you love me still, won't you?
won't you?
will you let me know if this is all for nothing, won't you?
won't you?

oh, i'm stuck with you
i made a hopeless commitment and hoped i would win it
oh, you're stuck with me until you figure it out
or until i have no doubt

oh, won't you tell me if you love me still, won't you? won't you?
why can't you just tell me if you want me still? will you?

someday
(3.21.19)

i don't know if patience's on your side
but i've been waiting up for you all night
sometimes love can be a crazy thing
half the time you don't know what you're saying

and even if i'm far away
i know that i'll be there someday
even though our hearts are fixing still
and time will heal us once again
and we won't have to pretend we're fine in our right mind

i'm not sure if it'll feel normal
i'll try my best not too make it too formal
letting go's the hardest part of it
one goodbye means many after this

so even if i'm far away
i know that i'll be there someday
even though our hearts are fixing still
and time will heal us once again
and we won't have to pretend we're fine in our right mind

i wish i could be right where you are
know that i'm there even though we're so far
this might sound like something you've never heard
and you're right, but i'm never not gonna be in your life

and even if i'm far away
i know i'll be with you someday
even though our hearts need fixing still
and time has healed us once again
now we don't have to pretend we're fine in our right mind

trust me
(2.5.20)

talking to myself in my room at 3am with the blinds open
am i crazy for thinking this way?
don't you know that i want you to stay?

your guard is up and i understand why
i don't mean to be a burden
i just wanna know why you're hurting
you've built a wall in your mind when you almost fall
but i won't hurt you, i won't hurt you
i'll ignore your eyes
i'll stare ahead when you walk by
maybe you might notice me then

talking to you so late before
another tally goes on my door
it's the first rainfall of the spring
not talking to you so i might stop
these feelings i have when you go off
tell me about everything you hate and love

will you remember me
when you're done and done
and you've had enough?
will i be like her?
or will we try to make it work?
is this reality?
is this happening or is it a dream?
i'm kinda hoping we never meet
i might catch real feelings for you easy
and i might never think of another soul again

Loving Alone a friend's boyfriend that sucked. glad she got out of there. weirdo freak man
(12.30.19)

my love, why do you cause me pain?
you take my name in vain
oh, where did you learn to love?
can you even hear me above?

you're supposed to love me first
but i just can't ignore you
i didn't mean to jump in headfirst
but it feels like i'm loving alone

she says i'm pushing her away, but it's her fault
she says i'm not taking any of the blame
but it's her fault
DELIVERED 18 hours ago

you're cool but you never follow through
and i just can't be mad at you
i kinda meant to jump in headfirst
but it's not your fault i lose every time

if i was broken, why am i still here with you?
i know what i choose to do
stay out of everything that's mine
get out of my life, so i can cry

is this what love's supposed to be
is this all i dreamed: you and me?
a match made in heaven by the devil
is this all i need: you and me?

bellafor some reason i thought of her as the one that got away even though we never dated or even met in person. but i know she felt the same. i think of you every year on your birthday, bella. i hope you had a good 21st this year
(UY3.25.20)

stayin' inside, no time to cry
we can watch ratatouille a hundred times
let me know, and i'll get back to you as soon as i can
we don't have to rush, we'll be stuck inside for hours and hours

as we go, let the record show
i'll call you bella as we drive
down your favorite street full of old friends and childhood dreams
i'll call you bella as we drive

layin' in bed, my boredom ascends
waiting for this nightmare to end
let me know if you wanna call and talk on the phone till we fall
you don't have to rush, we'll be stuck inside for days and days

as we wait, there's no time to waste
i'll call you bella as we drive
with the windows down, the playlist i made you blasting for the world to hear
i'll call you bella as we drive

we can celebrate in the same week
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to me
i'll be your wall-e if you'll be my eve
we can be friends or more if you please
i'll be your colette if you'll be my linguini
we can be friends or more if you want to be