your mind is is filled with darkness
tears are seeping through
close your eyes quickly
and they won't see you're feeling blue

searching far and wide
for an answer, anywhere at all
the world says it's there for you
but then it lets you fall

searching blue, searching cold
serene but filled with hope
come alive again with your icy heart abroad

like stars on a cloudy night
invisible but the sky
is searching blue

was it all just a dream?
i could've sworn i saw us click
we talked about our lived
i thought we were a perfect fit
you told me about the little things
that make you who you are
i wish it was dark so we could lay
turn our attention on the stars
but now you won't even talk to me
it's like i don't exist
the feeling that i had with you
i'll always miss.

one second you're fine then another you're not
then suddenly all tthat's left is a thought
you want everything to stop
and feel like sleeping for a few long days
hoping you'll be gone when you wake

no sympathy, no remorse, nobody even notices
your head is down and it's getting hard to focus
you're lost and you start to doubt your own sanity
for the life that you have makes you despise humanity
day after day

you've given them chances but they threw them away
so you finally give up and decide that you're done
once again, depression has won

thank you for everything you've done, you're an angel
could you ever come to world? please, if you're able
i just want you to hug me, everything will be alright
let me stay over for just one more night

"how's your weekend so far? is it everything you've hoped?"
from this angle, everything is sloped
if i turn upright i might burst into tears
seeing you there brings back memories and fears

but honestly, thank you, you're so easy to talk to
daffodils and orchids appear when i'm with you
i don't mind that you're unknowing
it's honestly reassuring
to feel the presence of butterflies whenever i'm blue

i can't wait for november, just seven more months
the waiting is a bore, but it's okay
until then you'll never leave my mind

i can't wait for november, just six more months
i'd appreciate your help getting through it all
but until then i'll just tally on the wall

i can't wait for november, just five more months
it's starting to get quite difficult
summer has come but that's not enough

i can't wait for november, just four more months
impatience has grown on me
i can't decide if it's worth it

i can't wait for november, just three more months
i'm hoping i don't forget to count
i'd never thought i'd say this, but i miss the sounds

i can't wait for november, just two more months
the room on the wall is decreasing
i miss that tired feeling

i can't wait for november, just one more month
i can hardly contain myself
lately i've been needing less help

i can't wait for november, yet now i don't have to
it's finally here and i'm ecstatic
i missed this place, the people, and the songs
joy was almost automatic

and i'll miss all the little things
when we were young and summer was just full of time-consuming flings
like the sweet bonfire talks that were always more than talking
the secret sneaking away to what lies on the beach and walking
friendships broke on promises and trust was broken too
he said, she said, this and that, you want to scream, "how could you?!"
fireworks blazing in the sky, pounding in your ears
punches thrown without warning, making reality of your fears
secret kisses in hidden places
looking upon the familiar faces
lying on a blanket, pink lemonade for two
tinted hair, pressuring until i do

is that your catchphrase or something?
hand on your hips as you frown
looking down at the ground, shake your head
you take it and steal the ball from him
as you spin around

neon green shirt and black pants
i take notice of you
you and your dark dark hair and your dark dark eyes
your dumb dance moves and your dumb nike shoes
some of your hair sticks up at the top
i smile to self and giggle
you look short on the court
but you're taller than me
the illusion works

dear mystery boy
i saw you today
you were looking at your phone with no expression
you had dark curly hair and a jawline sharp
when you walked past me, mystery boy
you looked up
i saw your deep brown eyes looking ahead
then you disappeared around the corner
bye mystery boy

every friendship starts with words
every smile is caused by contact
when you loo at me, i don't know what to think
i feel as though i've known you longer than i have

i'm thinking, i want to sing duets with you
your voice deeper than mine
we harmonize in thought-out rhythm
the symphonic sounds perfectly combined

a voice told me that we have what it takes
we could try out for the idol
people would be screaming and cheering for us
we got the publicity we needed

then someday we'd be on Broadway
dancing across the stage
people would know us from just our first names
and it wouldn't matter if we turned the page

so just tell me your answer
is it yes or is it no? nod slowly and smile in response
but you don't. i've reached a new low

i saw you up there
all black with stripes of white
i think you saw me
holding my phone up, smiling like a maniac
cheeks flushed, giggling with her
you bowed so naturally
meant to do this forever
and what a coincidence
i am too
we'd be up there dancing
you'd twirl me and i'd grin
i've been waiting for this
counting down the days
and it's finally here

when you texted me last night, did you know it was me?
were you aware of the surroundings in your empty eternity?
did you even know who you were talking to
or am i dumb for thinking you could be someone new

get off your phone for a bit, texting is a waste
you could make me nervousand bring crimson to my face
but you act like you never even met me now
so i'll ignore your eyes that are a melted caramel brown

did i mess things up with you?
i'm positive it's true
did i say something wrong
to make you confused?
just tell me the truth
did i mess up my chances with you?

with you
we could be something
with you
we could be more
you'd share your light with me
and my heart would be an open door

i think black looks best on you
but red and white and navy too
running, panting, out of breath
i think you need to rest

it rolls toward me slowly and i wait
my heart starts racing and i count
when should i get up?
do i even dare?
i'm contemplating whether i should notice you there

do i make eye contact with you
i don't know what to think
i'm not sure what i should do
i try not to blink

your glasses sit on your face as you look into the camera
you're confident tonight, a light and faded aqua
i'm almost positive you say to them what you say to me
you're that person, i guess it was too much for me to dream

your eyes are green m&ms, they melt suddenly in my hands
when you talk to me at 2am, i know you understand
no one has spoken to me like this and sounded like they cared
you're special, i can tell, and for the future i'm prepared

i hear your laughter through the screen
do i want this
when i see your lips curl i think
do i want this
i know i shouldn't question it
just let it happen naturally
but i can't help but overthink

trains make noise in the back of my room
do i want this
my heart pounds louder than i ever thought it would
i don't want this
but i don't have a choice

don't mess with me, i know what you're doing
you'll gain my trust and love i didn't want to give
and break it in an instant so suddenly
and then i'll never want to forgive

you aren't the world
'cause i don't have you
breathing underwater
how i feel when i'm with you
but that still doesn't mean
i don't love you
because i do
i'm just not the world to you

i know i'm falling slow
baby, we'll get there
be patient, don't lose me
the fog will clear

but how can you lead me on?
make me think that you never want me gone
and then leave?
and how are you telling the truth?
is this real or are we stuck in our youth?
are we gone?

i always knew
you were too good to be true
then you proved me right
but i'm not satisfied
i never knew
i was sadly being used
before i got the message
i just couldn't take it

the emptiness i feel when you're around
and sorrow fills my heart when you let me down
you say you're sorry
but i could never tell you how much it hurts
i don't sleep when you say
get out of my life
you don't know i'm in my room
trying to find something to hold on to
to fight the urge to let go
of everything
i have

t h e ! n e r v e !
i let you in on a secret of mine
no answer, and i'm the one who says sorry
that'll be the last time
now i know how i feel when i see you tomorrow
i can't explain it
i'm in complete shock
nothing happened? think again
i know it wasn't an accident
i'm fine
i am
i truly am
but i'm numb
everything came tumbling down all at once
and you'll never know
you'll never be aware
before i told you i was so scared
turns out i didn't have to face you
you said nothing at all

you'll never know how i feel
not in the past, present, or future
it seems like you just don't get it
you don't understand when you act like that
when you ask me how i am
you'll never know it's your fault
you'll never know you made me feel like this
like i can't tell anyone
anything
you'll never know
because you just don't care
not enough

i loved you all the way
but i couldn't get you to stay
i guess i was controlled
when you said these things were normal and okay
i need to know how
it was fake
because she's telling me our love was never there but
i saw her wait

so love me for now
take my life now
i don't care as long as i have you
oh, my heartbeat
prays to hear you
even if you beat it up

my day starts with a morning text from you
with every heart imaginable
and breath i try not to lose
i reply, heart racing, feeling lucky to even know you
good morning, i say
as you smile into your phone
i can see it through the screen
and i know i'm not alone
though it feels like it, i mean
when i get to school, you walk me to class
but you stay 'cause we're in this together
we talk until the bell rings then you go to your seat
from across the room we exchange smiles and i giggle under my breath
i can't help but he happy, you're just so neat
the long day drags on but it's finally time to go
when i hear the bell i run to you
i haven't seen you all day, it feels like
but i have to wave goodbye 'cause you have somewhere to go to
you text me right away, and i check my phone
we talk for a bit, until you're there and have to go
i'm lying in bed now and staring at the ceiling
my mind goes to you and my heart gets this feeling
i'm so lucky, i think, as i get the text
you're done with me, and moving onto the next

She said there used to be a time when everything was perfect
Firemen didn't burn thoughts 'cause learning was worth it
But that was then, and this is now
It's no normal it feels as if it were never allowed
People don't think, they don't care, they barely blink
Passed out on their three couches, while an empty bottle lies in the sink
Speeding ahead, not looking, do they even notice them walking?
Commotion, still not awake, all there is is talking
Another human being lost, still people won't believe it's real
In this world, in my lifetime, maybe books won't be obsolete
They'll all gone now, disappeared, embedded in carmine concrete

my loneliness starts to get lonelier as days go by
my shadow's getting bored of hearing me talk about my life
i can't pretend i have it worse than you or a friend of mine
they have their issues and as long as i keep quiet i'm fine

when will you let me know if the stares i see are real
or you're just too afraid to tell me that it's nothing you feel